Inside-Out
We are vessels filled with thoughts and feelings. Most of them we never become aware of because there’s no place for them in our rational minds. They seem childish, inappropriate and too strange. As years go by, we lose track of all those little voices. We shove them into the dark chambers of our unconscious and succumb to our social responsibilities.
In Inside-Out, I illustrate the tragedy of an individual losing connection with herself. The multitude of unacknowledged emotions has accumulated and grown into an unbearable burden. When the drama becomes intensified to the extent that even breathing becomes difficult, the protagonist gives up control and lets all seams burst. Songs of longing and sadness slip out along with fantastic creatures of all shapes and colors. Once all aspects of herself have been acknowledged and welcomed, any protective shield becomes unnecessary.
The ultimate journey
Please join us on this fantastic journey into a world each of us carries within themselves!
In Inside-Out, I illustrate the tragedy of an individual losing connection with herself. The multitude of unacknowledged emotions has accumulated and grown into an unbearable burden. When the drama becomes intensified to the extent that even breathing becomes difficult, the protagonist gives up control and lets all seams burst. Songs of longing and sadness slip out along with fantastic creatures of all shapes and colors. Once all aspects of herself have been acknowledged and welcomed, any protective shield becomes unnecessary.
Inside-Out Performance
Video of Performance: Performance in Vienna, Kunsthalle Vienna am Karlsplatz curated by Katarzyna Uszynska and Gerald Matt, 2009
In Inside-Out, I illustrate the tragedy of an individual losing connection with herself. The multitude of unacknowledged emotions has accumulated and grown into an unbearable burden. When the drama becomes intensified to the extent that even breathing becomes difficult, the protagonist gives up control and lets all seams burst. Songs of longing and sadness slip out along with fantastic creatures of all shapes and colors. Once all aspects of herself have been acknowledged and welcomed, any protective shield becomes unnecessary.
Filmed by Martin Putz
The audience is greeted with a sparkling tent
Like beautiful gift the performance is wrapped in lovely flowers.
Materials: Fabric etc.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Coughing is heard and eventually the lovely tent starts collapsing
A whole world seems to start collapsing.
Materials: Fabric etc.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Bit by bit the tent is being dvoured
Grunting and munching noises can be heard..
Materials: Fabric etc.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Copy of Almost gone
A very different creature appears!
Materials: Fabric etc.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Oh poor me!
This gigantic colossus seems to big to move and very unhappy.
Materials: Fabric etc.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of Sadness and Longing start coming out:
LASS MICH SCHLAFEN
Laaaaaaaaass mich schlafen,
Laaaaassssss mich schlafen,
Lass mich sein, lass mich sein, lass mich sein,
Unter meiner warmen, schweren, grauen Decke.
LET ME SLEEP
Leeeeeeeeeeet me sleep,
Leeeeeeeeeeet me sleep,
Let me be, let me be, let me be,
Under my warm, heavy, gray blanket.
Almost about to throw up
The situation seems increasingly unbearable.
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
WARM
Meine Decke, meine liebe, liebe, liebe, liebe Decke,
Meine Decke,
Halte meinen Traum zusammen,
Meine Decke, meine liebe, liebe, warme, graue Decke,
Halte meinen Traum zusammen.
Halte, halte, halte meinen Traum zusammen
Meine Decke,
Meine liebe, liebe, warme, weiche, graue, schwere, schwere, schwere, schwere Decke,
Halte, halte, halte meinen Traum zusammen.
WARM
My blanket, my dear, dear, dear, dear blanket,
My blanket,
Hold my dream together,
My blanket, my dear, dear warm, gray blanket,
Hold my dream together.
Hold, hold, hold my dream together.
My blanket,
My dear, dear, warm, soft, gray, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy blanket,
hold, hold, hold my dream together.
Finally the seams start bursting
A new world appears!
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
WHAT IS WHAT
I looked inside myself and I couldn’t distinguish,
Between treasures….and rubbish.
A CONVERSATION
When you have a conversation with him,
Be VERY careful of the choice of your words!
There is one Word, if he hears it…..
He will KILL you!
What is all this?
Many wondrous creatures appear!
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
MEETING MYSELF
On a walk one day,
I stumbled over something, which upon closer inspection,
Revealed itself as my own complete copy,
Except for the missing limbs, eyes, ears nose and mouth.
Characters of all sizes and shapes come into our world
It’s hard work but there is so much to discover!
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
TEARS
Tears, Tears, Streaming from my tired brain.
Tears, Tears, streaminging from my tired brain to the eyes.
I managed to keep my cheeks dry
Who are you?
Who are these characters? Is this me or who else?
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
A FAIRY TALE
Don’t worry, fair maiden,
Prince charming will appear on his mighty stallion,
Sweep you off your feet and turn you into a beautiful queen.
Don’t worry, dear maiden,
Prince charming, he’ll show up,
And take care of the rest.
Shedding layers
Little by little an other being appears!
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
MY LOVE
My love, my lovely, lovely love,
I am still dreaming of you,
I can’t decide, my love,
If I want them, those sweet, sweet, painful memories,
My love, my lovely love,
Do you want them back?
Pulling out my chains
Little by little an other being appears!
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
DRAIN
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-II-I-I-I-I-II--I ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ave a-a-a-a-a-a Draa-a-a-a-a-aiiin
Sometimes it’s hard to close!
MY ROOM
When you enter my room,
The silence will be deceiving.
Some mirror images are painful
Little by little an other being appears!
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
TAG EIN UND TAG AUS
Von acht bis neun,
Von neun bis zehn,
Von zehn bis elf,
Von elf bis zwölf,
Von zwölf bis eins,
Von eins bis zwei,
Von zwei bis drei,
Von drei bis vier,
Von vier bis fünf,
Drehe ich die Kurbel,
Und vorher und nachher wird gesoffen und geschlafen.
DAY IN AND DAY OUT
From eight to nine,
from nine to ten,
from ten to eleven,
from eleven to twelve,
from twelve to one,
from one to two,
from two to three,
from three to four,
from four to five,
I am turning the craknk,
And before and after there is boozing and sleeping
Dancing with my inner self
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
WIND
Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind, Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiind oh Wiiiiiiiiiiiind,
Du hiiiiimlisches Kind,
Weck mich aus meinen Gedanken!
WIND
Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind, wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind oh wiiiiiiiiiiiiiind,
You heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeavenly child,
wake me up from my thoughts!
Close Inspection
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
GO AHEAD
Go ahead! Go ahead! Go ahead! Go ahead! Go ahead!
Look…..
Go ahead! Go ahead! Go ahead! Go ahead! Go ahead!
Look into my eyes….
But, make sure to miss what’s there at all cost!
Finding Treasures
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
SÜNDENSTEINE
Bach!
Du sprichst von schweren Sündensteinen.
Ich fühle mich schwer!
Sind es, sind dies die Sündensteine???
SIN STONES
Bach! (meant is Johann Sebastian Bach the composer)
You are speaking of heavy sin stones.
I am feeling heavy!
Are these, are these the sin stones?
Who are you?
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
AN EMPTY SPACE
There is an empty space in my heart.
There is an empty space in my heart.
I’ve loved you,
I’ve loved you so much,
There is an empty space in my heart,
Where, oh where is that castle,
We used to inhabit together.
It has dissolved.
Outestines!
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
WO DENN?
Ich bin hier irgendwo drin,
Ich bin hier irgendwo drin,
Will I find myself in this mess somewhere.
Ich bin hier irgendwo drin,
Perhaps I should scrub and clean and get rid of all this junk,
Ich bin hier irgendwo drin,
But if I happened to be in that empty can of peas…. I threw out….
…last week
WHERE?
I am in here somewhere,
I am in here somewhere,
Will I find myself in this mess somewhere.
I am in here somewhere,
Perhaps I should scrub and clean and get rid of all this junk,
Ich bin hier irgendwo drin,
But if I happened to be in that empty can of peas…. I threw out….
…last week
Resting
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
WHERE?
I go there!
Ich gehe dort hin!
Here!
Dort hin!
Hier hin!
There!
Over there!
Dort ist something better!
There!
Here!
There!
Where?
Contemplation
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Songs of sadness and longing start slipping out:
MEETING MYSELF
On a walk one day,
I stumbled over something, which upon closer inspection,
Revealed itself as my own complete copy,
Except for the missing limbs, eyes, ears, nose and mouth.
Freeing oneself of all constraints one by one
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Inhaling
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
A New Being Arises
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Stepping out of the old shell
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Vanishing into thin air
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
The world which is left behind
Materials: Fabric leather, polyester filling plus many others, 2005.
Photography in collaboration with David Byun
Innards
Fabric, polyester filling and many other materials, 2005
Basket Case
Fabric, polyester filling.
10 x 17 x 14″, 2005
Male
Fabric, polyester filling, burlap, bee’s wax.
13.8 x 7.9 x 7.9″, 2005
Melting
Fabric, polyester filling, leather.
16 x 36 x 40″, 2005
Brain Surgery
Fabric, polyester filling, chrome plated brass.
18.9 x 29.9 x 35.8″, 2005
Chained
Fabric, polyester filling.
7 x 22 x 55″, 2005
Siebenschläfer
Seven Sleeper (German word for sloth or somebody who sleeps a lot), 2005
Fabric, polyester filling, plastic, hair
11.8 x 13.8 x 29.9″
Autist
Fabric, polyester filling, paint.
12 x 23 x 23″, 2005
Bleeding Gold
Fabric, polyester filling.
7.9 x 7.9 x 29.9″, 2005
Cramped
Fabric, polyester filling, deer fur.
13 x 13 x 28″, 2005
Crippled
Fabric, polyester filling, wood, rabbit fur.
43.3 x 15.7 x 24.8″, 2005
Crippled
Fabric, polyester filling, wood, rabbit fur.
43.3 x 15.7 x 24.8″, 2005
Gate
Fabric, polyester filling, hat maker’s screen, wood filler, 12 x 12 x 14″, 2005
Odd Couple
Fabric, polyester filling, yarn, horse hair, buttons.
26.8 x 19.7 x 3.9″, 2005
Head and Body painfully separated
Fabric, polyester filling, brass.
18 x 18 x 40″, 2005
One Eyed Baby
Fabric, steel duck work part, polyester filling.
8 x 11 x 24″, 2005
Hidden World
Fabric, polyester filling, glass, deer fur.
17.7 x 15.7 x 13.8″, 2005
History
Fabric, polyester filling.
26 x 36 x 72″, 2005
History Close Up view
Fabric, polyester filling.
26 x 36 x 72″, 2005
Ingrown
Fabric, polyester filling, wood filler, paint.
8 x 12 x 18″, 2005
Intestine Bell
Fabric, polyester filling, chrome plated brass.
10 x 12 x 20″, 2005
Forest Kiss
Fabric, polyester filling, deer fur, velcro.
30.7 x 37.8 x 13.4″, 2005
Little Red Riding Hood
Fabric, polyester filling.
16 x 16 x 18″, 2005
Intestines
Fabric, polyester filling, rabbit fur.
35 x 29 x 12″, 2005
Male and Female
Fabric, polyester filling, pvc plumbing part.
19.7 x 19.7 x 4.7″, 2005
My bones are melting
Fabric, polyester filling.
3 x 12 x 40″, 2005
Open Stomach
Fabric, leather, polyester filling.
9 x 22 x 22″, 2005
Outgrowth
Fabric, polyester filling, feathers.
24 x 23 x 23″, 2005
Pacified
Fabric, polyester filling.
20 x 24 x 8″, 2005
Pita Head
Fabric, polyester filling.
8 x 7.9 x 2″, 2005
Police
Fabric, polyester filling, chrome plated brass.
7 x 36 x 7″, 2005
Pregnant
Fabric, polyester filling, aqua resin.
7 x 16 x 18″, 2005
Puppy
Fabric, polyester filling.
30.7 x 27.6 x 15″, 2005
Rich and Lonely
Fabric, Foam core, glass, polyester filling, ball bearing, 19 x 17 x 17″, 2005
Shitting Blood
Fabric, polyester filling.
21.3 x 7.1 x 11.8″, 2005
Interlude
Fabric, polyester filling, goat fur.
3 x 5 x 14″, 2005
Spent
Fabric, polyester filling.
5 x 6 x 18″, 2005
Sucker
Fabric, polyester filling, plastic.
9.8 x 7.9 x 19.7″, 2005
Tooth Leg
Fabric, polyester filling, wood filler, steel rod, paint.
4 x 20 x 24″, 2005
Yellow Fever
Fabric, polyester filling.
4 x 18 x 20″, 2005
Coin
Fabric, polyester filling, foam core.
11 x 24 x 24″, 2005
Coin with envisioned subject
Strange things are happening!! Photo with Florian Reither. ( I made this piece shortly before I met him!)
Fabric, polyester filling, foam core.
11 x 24 x 24″, 2008
Roots
Fabric, polyester filling, sand, styrofoam peanuts.
22 x 40 x 40″, 2005
Looking Into Myself
Fabric, polyester filling, mirror.
14 x 12 x 9″, 2005
Fat
Fabric, polyester filling: various dimensions.
Study
Prototype from which I made the pattern for the big fat suit.
Fabric, polyester filling.
13.8 x 15.7 x 10.2″, 2005
Accessories
Fabric, polyester filling: Dimensions various., 2005